Tuesday 5 February 2019


Tonight, I nursed you down to sleep.
I held you in my arms, 
cradled your little elbow, 
your soft fingers holding onto my thumb, 
and I could feel how you are another part of me, 
glorious and unique, 
destined for the future.

Precious baby, now a boy,
little though you may be.
We've been holding hands since forever,
you one hour born and me but minutes a mother. 
Feeling the wonder of you,
the mystery and exhausting joy,
not knowing what would happen next
but along for the ride, all the way.

I live for you already. 
When day-by-day boredom strikes, you smile.
When my hands ache with the umpteenth wash,
I reassure myself that you have never had a bad belly as yet,
even with all of your adventurous eating and the rest.
When my heart aches with opportunity cost,
I can also feel how much it has opened in seeing just the opportunity
to see you,
glorious and new, 
destined for the future,
with your little old soul 
and wonderful big heart.

Part of my heart flies on in you.
canines flashing,
white and careless,
baby belly laughs to silly sneezes,
theatricality at the fiber of this adventure.
Performing weird acts 
of life's explanation
even while flying blind 
in the dark.

Whatever little way this absorbs,
or profound,
I've held you close. 
How could you not absorb at least some of these 
hopes and dreams?
Some measure of my heart poured in,
wishing you love and ever-growing strength,
onward with your maniacal energy and destiny in the future.

I hold your hand.
I hold you close. 
You sigh.
I thank you for coming down from the stars
to be my baby.
I kiss your head.

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